Drawing from my experience as a relationship therapist…here are ten most common reasons why marriages fail.
1. Poor
Boundaries; Engaging in intimate conversations with members of the opposite sex
leads to emotional experiences that cloud judgement, trigger fantasy life, and
progress toward physical intimacy outside of marriage. The connection and
acceptance found in an illicit relationship divert energy from solving
problems with one’s spouse.
2. Selfishness;
There needs to be fairness in the distribution of work and responsibility
within the relationship. This willingness to extend oneself also pertains to
meeting emotional needs. Placing one’s desires consistently ahead of a
partner’s emotional needs and responding only when it is a matter of
convenience, demand or negotiations would leave a partner feeling unloved.
3. Lack Of
Emotional Intimacy; The lack of sharing one’s feelings, goals, hurts,
struggles, joys and emotional details of one’s life leads to loneliness and
sadness. Feelings of friendship and partnership come from being connected
through interest, deep listening and empathy, mutual support, and sharing
perspective as confidants.
4.
Disrespectful judgements; Marriage needs acceptance, admiration, appreciation,
and emotional safety. Feelings of anger and hurt follow when the process of
exploring differences or contrasting opinions consistently degenerates into
criticism, impatience, labelling, contempt, or discrediting one’s thoughts or
feelings.
5.
Explosive, angry outbursts or rages; Anger can have a useful purpose if it is
listened to and leads to dialogue and useful problem solving. However, anger
can create even more anger or withdrawal. Both can interfere with
effective communication.
6. Lack of
Affection And S3xual Fulfilment; When needs for s3x and affection are not met,
problems mushroom. Without affectionate gestures and words, love seems hollow
and unbelievable. People don’t marry to get a roommate. They expect to have an
active and fulfilling s3xual life. Chronic anger and conflict dampen a couple’s
willingness to be affectionate with each other.
7. Leading
Separate Lives; Relationships also suffer when couples don’t mesh their lives
through shared activities, recreational companionship, or spending enough time
together.
8. Painful
Communication; A marriage with too much conflict, hostility, blame, criticism,
defensiveness, and belligerent verbal attacks seems like life with an enemy
instead of a friend. Marriage needs to be a place of safety and not a war zone.
9.
Destructive Habits And Addictions; Addictions have greater power to be placed
in front of the needs and happiness of a partner. Betrayal, hurt, anger, and
pain follow the wake of addictive behaviour. Addictions need to be treated to
protect the integrity of marriage.
10.
Dishonesty, lies, laziness and other character defects.
Thank you
for reading.
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